“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” — Psalm 147:3

Grief is not always suffered from the loss of someone you love dearly or hold close to your heart.
Often, grief simply comes from the loss of something you once had. Memories are all around us and are brought to mind through simple things — a song once shared, a familiar smell that can never be forgotten, or even a single word that brings back a moment in time you hold dear.

For me, the deepest pain comes from living in the midst of what is grieved the most — the small, intimate moments, the touch, the security, the simplicity of being fully present in a moment where nothing else existed except the memory being created. Over the years, those memories intertwine with pain and trauma, with doubt and sorrow, until you begin to lose yourself in the scramble of what was and what is.

Those sweet memories are swallowed up by this thing we call life — or perhaps, the sins of the world. It steals the minds of those we hold close, whispers lies of defeat, and slowly turns memories into grief — a slow, painful grief that feels like an open wound that never heals. Every scab is a small glimpse of hope for what once was, knowing deep down it may never be again.

The silent suffering… every PTSD wife has felt this grief — longing for moments of the past and hoping for their return in the future. The despair cries out for even one more moment as it was, one more memory of what it should be. The quiet nights awake in silence turn into utter loneliness that leaves you clinging to God for that last bit of hope — the hope that brings comfort and peace.

When we grieve, we grieve not for a life that was lost, but for the love that once was.

As we grieve the memories of what once was, let us cling to God for what is to come. He has a love that surpasses all understanding. This worldly love we so desire to mend can become an overwhelming, perfect love in His presence. Fix your mind upon God in the loneliness of life. Allow Him to heal the wound that feels as if it can never heal. Pray for the love you once had to return — for God can move in mighty, unthinkable ways when we surrender our silent suffering and allow Him to fight our battles.